Very Naiise

On Friday night, my friends and I went to a new club in the Valley. I must admit I was a bit reluctant. This new club replaced the old Sunbar and I never did like Sunbar.

I thought it was pretentious, snooty and dull. The Sunbar was one of those places that just seeped snobbery, drudgery and try-hardery.

So when I heard that Sunbar had gone and an even flashier club had come to take its place. I expected a purer, demonic, distilled form of door bitch fashion police evil.

I expected some sort of metro, camp, buff modelesqe Adonis at the door with some stupid hair, looking down his upturned nose ready to greet me with a "Sorry mate, looks like you've had too much to drink", even though I had had none that evening. "Please move away from the entrance".

My slightly cynical expectations were booted down a jagged cliff to dark dark oblivion by a leathery Spartan sandal. I approached the red carpeted entrance to friendly door staff. We were accompanied up the staircase by a tall, blonde, female staff.

She looked like she was about to sit me down for a game of Sale of the Century. Perhaps I could have been the carry over champ and tonight I was about to win the car, jackpot and holiday. "We offer full table service", she announced.

The place looked plush. The lighting set a relaxed yet exciting mood. We sat at an extravagant studded leather sofa with carved wood frame. "Not bad", I thought.

The waitresses had Alice in Wonderland style dresses, except in deep red and black hues. One pointed us to the cocktail menu book sitting on the coffee table in front of us. The drinks ranged from 17$ to $1800. I had a Pegu Club Cocktail which had gin, curacao, some citric ingredients and other spirits which I can't remember. It was good.

All sorts of eccentric eccentric characters provided patronage to the club. A super styled grey-suited camp/gay gentleman (we shall call Molly) leaned against the bar with his hip contorted in such a way it appeared as though he was trying to attract members of the same sex with his jutting hips. Molly later disappeared with another guy into the function room.

A tipsy lady (we could call Rainbow) danced around the stage, attempting to befriend all the older gentleman. At one stage she was dancing on her knees as she crawled to more men who were sitting down. Rainbow reminded me of a Woodford hippy but in evening wear.

A couple reaching the top of the stairs caught my attention. He was elderly and white haired. She was in her late thirties, platinum blonde, slim and wearing a very open dress. So open that her right breast actually decided to wander out to take a look at the club on its own. She, lets call her Janet, ran to the lady's.

Speaking of toilets, the men's had a doorman, automatic taps and complimentary cologne (I didn't see which, but it looked like expensive stuff).

The band played a blend of funk, soul and rap while the singer tried his best to be hot and sexy. This was probably one of the most amusing components to the evening. His cheesy gestures to the audience sent one of my friends into a fit of unstoppable laughter.

I could go on with the eccentricities but I think that will do. Summary: Plush decor, good vibe, funny characters, a huge variety of cocktails, friendly staff, Very Naiise.

Oh I nearly forgot to mention what the club was called; Zuri.

Kate Miller-Heidke

There once lived a boy. This boy went to Race Course Road Street Festival about 5 years ago. There he saw for the first time an unusual, yet attractive and talented performer. This performer lived in his home city of Brisbane.

She had a great stage presence, even on that humble road. Her songs sang about events and places that occurred in Brisbane. ..Paddington, the Valley. The crowd could easily relate to her and her familiar stories. She had operatic training and unbeknown to him at the time she had already won many awards.

As well as original songs sung by her. She did the odd cover song as well. Imagine the TimeWarp done in a kinda hybrid pop/opera or popera if you will. Notably, overly, intensely, certifiably excellent. Very noice.

One might call her quirky, but the boy later found out in a local paper that she hates being called quirky.

He was impressed. She left an impression that 5 years later drew him into her latest CD launch concert at the Tivoli in Fortitude Valley.

Of course within those five years she had released other CDs, performed at Woodford and supported other music artists at other concerts, many of which the boy had attended.

But 5 years later, most of his friends still didn't really appreciate her like the boy did. "Not really my kind of music", they would say. "She's weird".

But that's the point isn't it? She *is* a little bit different and that's what makes her stand out. If she makes it big internationally, she will have defined a new kind of genre of music.

So, 5 years later, that stage presence is even grander. She knows how to warm the crowd, tell a funny, she still does a random cover here and there. This time she did The Voice as performed by John Farnham.

As mentioned earlier, no one he knew liked her, so he had trouble finding someone to go to the concert with him. As bad as it sounds he kind of guilted his girlfriend to come with.

The night was awesomely enjoyable. The set list was perfect. She performed the boy's favourites; some from old some from new. The crowd was loud and crazy and sang along. Her band was as zany as she was. Holding his girlfriend, the boy was in perfect company.

The Tivoli is a beautiful venue. Anyone who has not been there is definitely missing out on a great experience. This night in particular was a great experience and for $32.50 per ticket the boy and his girlfriend had a special night.

That boy of course, is me and the performer, as the title suggests, is Kate Miller-Heidke.

Her latest album is called Curiouser and my favourite song from it is "God's Gift to Women". I think she's gonna be big. Mainstream just doesn't 'get it' yet.